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THIS IS NOT WHO I AM
(2021, 96 min)
Filmmaker Joris Koptod Nioky moves in with his 71-year-old mother Rian to have her reflect on motherhood. They both have completely different views on who she was as a mother. Against the backdrop of the COVID-19 outbreak in the Netherlands, Rian reflects on her post WO II childhood in Rotterdam, her violent father, the commune she starts in the seventies with another couple, the swinging lifestyle and the complex family structure this behavior resulted in. Joris uses his movie THIS IS NOT WHO I AM to confront Rian with the traumatic events of the past. When he shows her a temporary edit, Rian is overcome by a deep sadness and refuses her collaboration on the movie. Her sadness quickly turns into anger. An anger that spreads through the whole family and ends in a battle to have the movie banned.
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Director's statement
"Light always hits us through our own eyes. We sanitize our own actions and motivation. We try to conceal our flaws, filter our memories, infuse it with our longings and wishes. We create stories. In these stories we are a bigger, better version of ourselves. In these stories we find truths that consoles us.
These stories, being stories, will inevitably collide with other stories.
And they will alienate us from others and their experiences."
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